How Can Your Church Help Make Abortion Unthinkable?
As the leader of a network of pro-life pregnancy centers, I have the privilege of regularly speaking in churches about the value of human life. I share what the Bible has to say regarding the sanctity of life and the vital role pro-life pregnancy centers play in women and men choosing life for their preborn babies.
Coming as a guest speaker to talk about this sensitive topic is welcomed by many pastors, who know they want to address the topic but are often unsure how. For some, it’s because they know there are members of their congregation who mistakenly see the topic of human life as a political issue instead of the biblical and human rights issue that it truly is.
Others worry that doing so may result in hurt for those who’ve experienced a past abortion. Best estimates suggest that one in four women and men in evangelical congregations have had a past abortion. Some are surprised by this figure, but when you consider there have been more than 60 million babies aborted in the last 50 years, it shouldn’t be a shock.
Beyond inviting your local pregnancy center leader to come and share in your weekend services (which I’d recommend), how does a church winsomely and wisely engage on this sensitive topic? How can your church be seen as a safe harbor for individuals who might be vulnerable to abortion?
How to Speak to a Woman or Man Vulnerable to Abortion
When a young person is facing an unexpected pregnancy, it is often overwhelming, and the fear can be paralyzing when they consider their current circumstances. To understand why, you need to know why women consider abortion.
According to the Guttmacher Institute, three types of circumstances account for about three-quarters of abortions.
- Concerns about education or career: At our pregnancy centers, we regularly meet women who believe that unexpected pregnancy ends these ambitions. Some will describe the situation as “the death of their dreams.”
- Concerns about finances: It is not unusual for us to meet people who are barely getting by financially, even homeless, and then find out they are pregnant. Considering how they can care for children when they barely get by themselves becomes overwhelming.
- Fear of single motherhood: Most women facing unexpected pregnancies are unmarried or not in a committed relationship. If the father isn’t going to be present or supportive, the anxiety these women face is that much greater, as is the likelihood that they are going to consider abortion.
These are very real, understandable barriers women (and men) need to wrestle through if they are going to choose to parent in the face of an unexpected pregnancy, particularly in a situation where the father of the baby has checked out of the situation.
With this understanding as a backdrop, here are five practical things you can do if you get the opportunity to come alongside someone who is unexpectedly pregnant and might be vulnerable to considering abortion.
- Listen Well & Talk to Her About Her.
We don’t typically think of the birth of Jesus this way, but to Mary and Joseph, his arrival was as unexpected of a pregnancy as there has ever been. It’s instructive to reflect on their initial reaction. Mary asked the angel in Luke 1:34, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” Meanwhile, when Joseph learned about Mary’s pregnancy, knowing he was not the biological father, he “resolved to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). Even the couple God chose as his Son’s birth parents first needed to confront and wrestle with the question, “What does this mean for me?”
This is the driving question for those confronting an unexpected pregnancy. Knowing the top reasons women consider abortion gives you a foundation for understanding how overwhelmed and isolated they feel. You need to build on that by listening to her feelings, her thoughts, her story. What precisely is she thinking and wrestling through? You should listen thoroughly before you begin offering solutions. In short, you need to talk to her about her (or him about him) before she will be in a place to consider the little life involved.
- Show Compassion Without Judgment.
The fact that our Savior himself came from a non-idyllic, non-traditional circumstance should serve as a foundation for us having compassion when we hear about someone facing an unexpected pregnancy.
Indeed, people at that time would not have understood, or in most cases believed, in a virgin birth. In John 8:4, the Pharisees are challenging and trying to trap Jesus. And in verse 41, one of the Pharisee leaders says: “We were not born of sexual immorality.” I think that’s intended as a zinger at Jesus’ lineage.
Jesus not only knows what it’s like to walk among us, to be part of an unplanned pregnancy, and the potential stigma attached to that.
Because of God’s tremendous grace, Christians should be the least judgmental people on Earth. That same grace and compassion should be showered upon those facing an unexpected pregnancy.
To be a safe place or a safe person, you have to offer her support without judgment, even when the pregnancy occurs outside of marriage. There will almost certainly be voices in her life shaming and nudging her toward abortion.
Listening well and showing compassion demonstrate that you genuinely care, which will make a big difference in an ocean of confusing and competing voices.
- Share Truth Winsomely.
Often, the most effective way to share your Christian faith is to share what Christ has done for you. We regularly see circumstances in our pregnancy centers where God will pair each patient with just the right team member who can share a personal experience that connects them. That experience may or may not be pregnancy-related, but don’t discount the reality that God has placed you in this person’s life for a reason.
Maybe there’s an experience from a past pregnancy you can draw on. Perhaps you can speak to an ultrasound you have had personally or witnessed that will remind her of the other life involved. Maybe there’s someone else you know who you can connect her with to be a voice of personal experience.
- Offer Practical Help.
One of the most common things we hear in our pregnancy centers from women considering abortion is: “I feel like I have no other choice.” Too many women who had an abortion admitted feeling pressured to end their pregnancy.
What will overcome these lies from the enemy? Hearing from other voices that there is hope and help available.
There are about 3,000 pro-life pregnancy centers nationwide, with one in nearly every community. These centers meet individuals at their point of need and help them see a better future for themselves and their babies.
If you have a friend or family member who is overwhelmed by an unplanned pregnancy, offer to take her to a pregnancy center. More than 60% of pregnancy centers have certified medical personnel to provide ultrasounds. Every center offers practical resources ranging from options counseling and material resources to an abundance of referrals beyond what they do (e.g., adoption services, OBGYNs, and more).
- Lastly, Pray Fervently.
When it comes to being a safe place to help those facing a crisis pregnancy, being people of prayer is the most vital step.
John 10:10 tells us the Enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Christ has come that we may have life and have it abundantly.
The front of this passage reminds us that Satan wants to kill and destroy people, and the aborting of 60 million preborn babies in the last five decades is grim evidence of that. That’s why turning to our Lord in prayer is pivotal to saving vulnerable lives.
Pray daily for those in your community who are making a life-and-death decision about a pregnancy they weren’t anticipating. And if God brings you in connection personally with someone in that circumstance, before your time with them concludes, ask if it would be okay if you prayed for them. When we do this at our pregnancy centers, rarely does someone turn down the gift of free prayer. We know God can move mountains when we pray.
Sometimes, when I am speaking in a church, I will ask, “How many of you want young people who might be vulnerable to abortion to see you, the church, as a safe place to face a pregnancy they weren’t expecting?” Nearly every hand goes up.
I do this for two reasons. First, I want people to make a simple public commitment to support people who may face an unplanned pregnancy in their church. Second, I want everyone in the congregation to see that they are in a church that desires to support them should they ever need that support.
By fostering an environment of compassion, love, and practical assistance, you and your church can play a crucial role in supporting young women and men facing unexpected pregnancies.
Rich Bennett is the president and CEO of Life Network, which operates the four Colorado Springs Pregnancy Centers.