Surviving in a Difficult World
While not his biggest hit, Kahan’s song “Growing Sideways” showcases the songwriter’s personal struggles. The song nods towards medication, therapy, and Jesus in the first verse before reflecting on feelings of numbness, stagnation, and hopelessness. Kahan shares his fear of never growing or finding meaning:
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
He then signals his resignation to a life that feels empty:
At the end of the day
I know there are worse ways to stay alive
It’s better to die numb
Than feel it all
The song ends without a hopeful resolution, concluding with the mournful refrain:
If my engine works perfect on empty,
I guess I’ll drive
On top of Kahan’s melancholy angst is a layer of guilt. He sings in “Stick Season,”
So I thought if I piled something good on all my bad that I could
Cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad
Kahan’s songs frequently reference feelings of guilt, letting others down, and constant wrestling with pain. Also in “Stick Season” Kahan sings, “I hope this pain’s just passing through,
Medicate, Meditate, Save Your Soul for Jesus
Kahan’s lyrics are not all hopeless ruminations. As someone who has struggled with depression, Kahan offers a sliver of hope to others who feel similarly. In “Call Your Mom,” Kahan pleads,
Don’t let this darkness fool you
All lights turned off can be turned on…
Oh, dear, don’t be discouraged
I’ve been exactly where you are
Kahan suggests that darkness and hopelessness are not final, that lights “turned off” can be turned back on. But, other than an assurance that he will be present for a struggling friend (“I’ll drive all night”), Kahan offers no particular source of hope.
When it comes to religion, Kahan neither shies away from nor endorses it—rather, he seems to accept it as part of trying to figure out how to “stay alive” in a rough world. His comments about Jesus sound as if he believes religion is one of many ways a person can try to find solace. The closest Kahan gets to offering any guidance to his listeners is with the (perhaps somewhat tongue-in-cheek) admonishment to “Medicate, meditate, save your soul for Jesus.”
Medication, meditation, and “saving your soul for Jesus” can all be thought of as different options presented to young adults for coping with the difficulties of life. A person can take the scientific, modern route (medicate), the self-help route (meditate), the religious route (save your soul for Jesus), or even choose some combination of all three.
But it’s not these “recommendations” from Kahan that endear him to his listeners. Rather, it’s his candid acknowledgment of the struggle that life can be, particularly when it comes to experiencing things like anxiety, isolation, and purposelessness. Kahan is popular because he is giving voice—across so many of his songs—to the question that millions of teens and young adults are asking deep down: At the end of the day, does any of it matter?
Conclusion
Kahan offers listeners a lot of emotional honesty, a little bit of hope, and a lot of resignation. Kahan’s declaration, “At the end of the day I know there are worse ways to stay alive,” is indicative of a generation that is exhausted.
On one hand, we might say Kahan’s indie-folk angst is a cultural symptom that should be treated with truth. Jesus offers an answer to anxiety (1 Peter 5:7), gives purpose to life (Colossians 1:16), meets us in feelings of isolation and loneliness (Isaiah 41:10), and offers an answer to pain (Psalm 147:3). Kahan’s muddled ruminations on therapy, medication, and relational brokenness don’t seem to help in any way.
On the other hand, however, the very fact that Kahan’s lyrics resonate with so many can teach us something. Christians and non-Christians alike struggle with the themes present in Kahan’s music. Christians, too, can live life with a mindset of just trying to “stay alive.” Our ideas about Jesus don’t dictate our experience of him. There’s no doubt that ideas have consequences, but often it’s the anxiety, guilt, and fear of isolation and purposelessness that will drive us either to or away from Jesus.
As Christians, this reminds us to encourage one another. We often underestimate our ability to encourage others. As one author paraphrases Deitrich Bonhoeffer, “The Christ in the mouth of my brother or sister is stronger than the Christ in my own heart; my heart is uncertain, the Word is sure.” (F2)
Kahan may not be a fountainhead of wisdom, yet he can be a reminder to think and act with compassion. We need more than truths about Jesus to sustain us in the Christian life—we need experiences of hope. And if Kahan’s popularity is any indication, his generation is short on hope and hungering for the freedom to speak candidly about their fears and struggles.
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