There is no doubt that the foundational truth the song proclaims is correct: No matter what people say or do, we are born biologically male or female and that cannot change. What is true corresponds with reality, and that won’t change regardless of our feelings. Still, it is important to think through the way in which we speak about and defend the truth. After all, a true message can quickly become an irrelevant one to culture if no one is willing to hear it. When we truly love people and care about their flourishing, we must also care about how they receive what we are saying. Though it is true that love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth,” it is also, patient, kind, and not arrogant or rude (1 Corinthians 13:4-6). When we do these things, we become nothing but a “noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” that prevents people from hearing the truth (1 Corinthians 13:1). Transformation for others only comes about if we speak the truth in genuine love and not mere rhetoric.
The data seems to show that the culture largely supports and celebrates the LGBTQ+ movement. Songs like this one, however catchy, will likely not change the tides of culture. How can Christians thoughtfully stand up for the truth and effect change? How can we speak the truth in love about transgenderism?
Understanding the Person & Transgenderism
One of the best ways we can communicate the truth about transgenderism is through genuine, committed, loving relationships. It is through Christians that others should experience the transformational love of Jesus, which is ultimately what the world needs most. Too often, we view others as walking ideologies instead of what they truly are: image-bearers of God, people we are to love. Even if another person is someone we’d consider an enemy, we are called to love them (Matthew 5:43-45).
When we get to know people as they are, we humanize them and can begin to understand their perspectives, even if we disagree with them. This mindset of wanting to get to know someone and understand them is foundational to any genuine, loving, caring relationship.
However, having a relationship with someone who identifies as transgender doesn’t mean that we must affirm the decisions and beliefs they have. Much of the transgender lifestyle stems from gender dysphoria, a mental disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition defines gender dysphoria in “adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender.”1 Those who struggle with this dysphoria can find their days are marked by a feeling of dissonance. The way they feel on the inside doesn’t align with what they see on the outside. This causes a constant discomfort that is unrelenting and often causes people to feel like there is something wrong with them.
Because of this, Christians should understand that whenever we approach conversations about transgenderism, it should be done in a kind and gentle way. These are people who are sorting through very real emotions and experiences, they are not merely making choices on a whim. Imagine you have a deep struggle and the people around you shame you for it or tell you to just choose to stop struggling with it. This would not be a helpful or loving response, it would only damage the relationship.
Instead, by acknowledging the reality of those feelings, we can build trust that allows us to suggest to a person the truth that just because they feel a certain way doesn’t mean the way they feel corresponds to reality or should be pursued.
Standing Up for Truth
In the midst of seeking to have a genuine, loving relationship with someone who identifies as transgender, there will most likely be times when we as Christians wonder if we are compromising our convictions. That is why it is important to consider what standing up for truth looks like.
Consider how Jesus challenged certain cultural presuppositions of his day. While there is an instance in which he flipped tables at seeing the heretical actions of the people in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13), he most often traveled around speaking the truth in love. He let people come to him, and those who did experience his love and care in a personal, often transformational way. When the Pharisees sought him out to challenge him, he stood his ground and spoke the truth back to them. Jesus did not seek out arguments with them or have shouting matches where he tried to convince them that he was right. He did not cast his pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6).
We should try to emulate Jesus in all things. Thus, standing up for truth doesn’t look like yelling loudly and aggressively to tell people who are transgender how wrong they are. It looks like being straightforward about your beliefs to those in your community. It looks like maintaining strong boundaries when it comes to truth and not crossing a line of acceptance in an effort to build relationships. However kind and understanding we are, it should remain clear to the transgender community that, as Christians, we do not believe that men can ‘become’ women, or that they were wrongly born male (and vice versa), and we therefore do not affirm their lifestyle.
Standing up for truth looks like praying daily that Jesus would reveal himself in a personal way to those who identify as transgender, helping them see themselves as he does. And it looks like being willing to have hard conversations about truth when the time is right. Most of all, it looks like standing firm in the truth that they are people who are made in the image of God. It means recognizing that they are using their God-given free will to make a choice, even if that choice goes against God’s innate design. We should treat them with the dignity that all God’s image-bearers deserve.
Loving Despite Disagreement
As we pursue a relationship with those who are not Christians and are living in the dominion of darkness (Colossians 1:13-14), we should remember that it is a very real possibility that they may never decide to pursue truth or a relationship with God. Nonetheless, we are called to love them. But how do we build a good relationship with those we disagree with? This means having self-awareness, others-awareness, and God-awareness.
As followers of Jesus, we should both love others and want them to know we love them. If you’re able to, be there for them as they go through difficulties so they don’t feel alone and isolated. As the church, the body of Christ, we are meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the world. Instead of focusing on changing other people (which can only be accomplished by the Holy Spirit), our primary goal should be to offer others sacrificial love as we imitate Jesus who “first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
Imagine a world like this, a world where every Christian had genuine, loving relationships with even those they disagreed with. There would be far less polarization, hatred, and divisions, and the truth would seem far more compelling. We need to speak the truth and do so in a loving way as we imitate Jesus Christ.
To support more resources like this consider becoming a Truth Partner! Partner with Summit every month to ensure students are equipped to stand for truth.